


zombie

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Coffee Addict Tony Stark, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Mother Hen Bucky Barnes, No Angst, Pre-Relationship, Tony Stark Needs Sleep, ignoring the existence of civil war because fuck that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26730829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: Bucky had never believed in zombies before. Witches, maybe, especially when he’d joined the Avengers and seen the weird shit they dealt with. Vampires seemed somewhat plausible, too. But zombies? Reanimated corpses that trudged around aimlessly looking for brains? No, those had to be fake.Bucky had never believed in zombies before, until he saw one in the common kitchen and promptly lost his shit.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 12
Kudos: 377





	zombie

**Author's Note:**

> finally getting back into writing! lets see how long this lasts whoops
> 
> anyway enjoy!!

Bucky had never believed in zombies before. Witches, maybe, especially when he’d joined the Avengers and seen the weird shit they dealt with. Vampires seemed somewhat plausible, too. But zombies? Reanimated corpses that trudged around aimlessly looking for brains? No, those had to be fake.

Bucky had never believed in zombies before, until he saw one in the common kitchen and promptly lost his shit.

He’d already drawn two knives before he realized that it couldn’t possibly be a zombie, if only because JARVIS would’ve alerted them all. Also, zombies weren’t real. He put away his weapons, somewhat embarrassed, and watched the not-zombie shuffle around the kitchen, moaning and groaning occasionally. It stopped in front of the coffee machine and pawed at it ineffectually.

Oh. Bucky recognized the not-zombie now. It was Tony Stark, the owner of the Tower and the son of two of Bucky’s victims. Also Iron Man, which was an important thing to mention, seeing as he could kick Bucky’s ass in the suit with a single repulsor blast. Tony and Bucky were at least well-acquainted, if not friends, so it was doubly embarrassing that Bucky had thought he was a zombie. He resolved to never speak it out loud as long as he lived.

In his defense, he’d never seen Tony like this before. Their meetings had involved Tony poured into a tight suit and shielded with dark sunglasses. He didn’t think he’d ever seen the guy without a tie, except for on calls, when they didn’t even interact much. That Tony-- put together and professional-- was a far cry from this one.

Bucky could hear Tony muttering to the coffee machine, but it wasn’t in any language he knew. And since Bucky knew a lot of languages, he was willing to put money on Tony speaking gibberish to an inanimate object. It was cute, in a sad sort of way.

“Did you get any sleep last night?” he called out, somewhat against his will. His voice was raspy, mostly because he made a habit of being silent and broody at all times. He was self-aware enough to know it. But something about Tony had his long-buried mother hen instincts rising to the surface.

(It was nice to know they were still there, under all the death and blood. He’d worried, sometimes, that kindness was out of reach for a monster like him.)

Tony startled violently, throwing his coffee mug at Bucky’s head. Bucky caught it with wide eyes before it could shatter against the wall.

“I have a heart condition!” he hissed, his voice almost as hoarse as Bucky’s. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“I’ve been standing here for five minutes,” Bucky pointed out. He wasn’t even hidden like he usually was! And the lights were on!

Tony made a face. “Time is a human construct, Snowflake,” he said, rubbing his eyes. He yawned so wide that Bucky’s jaw ached in sympathy. “But to answer your question, no, I did not. I had deadlines.”

“Deadlines shouldn’t keep you up all night,” Bucky said with a frown. He wasn’t sure why he cared, only that he did. “Your work isn’t more important than your health.”

“Agree to disagree,” Tony reached for another mug from the cabinet and started the coffee machine. “And why are  _ you  _ awake, Freezer Burn? Maybe that’s the question we should be asking.”

“It’s nine in the morning.”

“It’s nighttime somewhere.”

Bucky snorted in amusement. “I think you need to sleep, Stark.”

“Call me Tony,” Tony said, taking a long sip of his coffee. “You’ve seen me with more engine oil on me than I care to admit, you can use my first name.”

“Then you should call me Bucky,” Bucky countered. He wasn’t particularly attached to the name one way or another, but he knew  _ exactly  _ what Tony thought of it.

Tony wrinkled his nose. “Do I have to?” he whined. “It makes you sound like you’re in a bad cowboy porno.”

“I’m sure you have a lot of experience in that department,” Bucky teased. He didn’t know where the playfulness was coming from, but he liked it. It made him feel normal, if only for a moment. 

“You, sir, are banned from the kitchen,” Tony said after a solid minute of spluttering. “No one is allowed to be funnier than me. It’s in the contract you signed when you moved in. Though I suppose you didn’t so much move in as appear one day and refuse to leave. Like a feral kitten, or something.”

“A feral kitten,” Bucky said skeptically. “That’s exactly what people think when they see me.”

“Forget the Winter Soldier, you should get a whole cat costume, really lean into it,” Tony grinned shamelessly. “Actually, I think there’s already a market for that. You should  _ definitely  _ look up furries.”

“Don’t even start,” Bucky shuddered for dramatic effect, reveling in the way it made the corners of Tony’s mouth tick up even more. “Clint beat you to it.”

Tony huffed, looking put out. “Damn,” he said. “I was really wondering how far I could go with your feral kitten fursona, but I guess that’s out now.”

“Thank god for that,” Bucky hummed. 

The conversation lulled as Tony chugged his third cup of coffee, to Bucky’s horror. He knew  _ exactly  _ how caffeinated that stuff that usually went into the machine was-- it had been made with super soldiers in mind-- and if Tony had much more, he’d be up for the rest of the week. Gently, so as not to startle Tony again, he stepped forward and took the coffee cup out of Tony’s hand before he could finish it.

Tony looked worse up close. His eyes were ringed with shadows, suggesting more than one night of missed sleep. His skin was sallow instead of its usual healthy gold. He looked like a man who desperately needed a week off.

Bucky couldn’t give him that, but he could give him the rest of the morning.

“No more,” he said, using his best  _ Stevie is doing something stupid and I have to stop him  _ voice. It was fairly effective, if he did say so himself. “You need to go to bed.”

“I have work,” Tony protested, trying to snatch his cup back. “Two prototypes due for Fury, the intellicrops report for Pep, and--”

“And they’ll still be there tomorrow,” Bucky’s tony brokered no argument. “JARVIS, could you let Fury and Miss Potts know that Tony is taking the day off?”

“Happily, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS said crisply. “The emails have been sent.”

“See? You’re all set,” Bucky didn’t wither at the force of Tony’s glare, mostly because the man looked like a wet cat. 

“You’re conspiring against me with my own AI? That’s cold, Bucky Bear,” Tony finally deflated and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll remember this, mark my words.”

Bucky chuckled under his breath. “I’m terrified,” he drawled. “Though I’d be more terrified if you could keep your eyes open for the whole threat. Go to bed.”

“What, you’re not going to tuck me in?” snarked Tony as he padded away, ostensibly towards his bedroom. Not that Bucky knew where his bedroom was! Okay, he did, but he maintained that memorizing the floor plans for every building he was in was a completely normal thing to do.

“Do you want me to?” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

Interestingly enough, Tony flushed. Bucky chalked it up to exhaustion, but he still filed it away in his head to analyze more later. “Good night, Bucky,” Tony ignored the question and waved, leaving the kitchen, hopefully to sleep for at least a day.

“It’s morning!” Bucky called after him, but the man was already gone.

Alone in the kitchen, Bucky smiled to himself. Maybe zombies weren’t real, but a sleep-deprived Tony Stark was as close to one as it got. After all, Bucky mused, sipping Tony’s abandoned coffee, he hadn’t noticed that he’d been drinking decaf.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos make me happy :))
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr [@imposter-human](https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)


End file.
